Attention Jewish People: The Israeli Government has Slit Its Wrists

Dear Jewish People,
The State of Israel is scheduled for closure sometime within the next five years.

The experiment has failed. Your Secular Israeli Government has decided that since the Arabs have refused to accept our existence for the last 60 years, and since Europe wants Hitler back - we must resign the Jewish state in order to pander to world opinion.

We have also decided that we will evacuate Israel unilaterally: we will not allow those of you who fear Hashem and love Israel to continue on in our absence - because all of you are a bunch of crazy nutjobs who think the Torah is meant to be taken seriously! You will not be allowed to remain behind us. Everyone must leave.

Maybe after another 6 million Jews die we will be able to get our state back again.

In the meantime, we will be resigning the IDF and reassigning the infantry to new duties: we will be standing by in bulldozers, actively ensuring that you vacate the premises. You might want to buy a life preserver and a shark spear, too. Hamas, Fatah, and Hizballah have promised to clean up after us.

Survivors are welcome to regroup in Uganda. Hope to see you there.

Ehud Olmert
Acting Prime Minister

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